


Pulchritudinous Happenstances

by DivinityInMotion



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 5+1 Things, Awkward Sexual Situations, Book 3: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, But it's only 4+1, Frottage, Gay Panic, Light-Hearted, M/M, Resolved Sexual Tension, Sexual Tension, compromising positions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-14 10:34:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28669293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DivinityInMotion/pseuds/DivinityInMotion
Summary: The Hogwarts staff keeping finding their two youngest Professors in compromising positions.Or4 times Severus and Remus were interrupted in unintentionally suggestive situations and 1 time it was exactly what it looked like.
Relationships: Remus Lupin/Severus Snape
Comments: 59
Kudos: 240
Collections: Snape Bigbang 2020





	1. Poppy Pomfrey

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! This fic was written as part of the SnapeBang2020 event. It's in the style of a 5+1 fic, except it's a 4+1 instead. I hope you enjoy!

Severus Snape found Remus Lupin to be an infuriating man. 

After graduating from Hogwarts, he found a tiny scrap of joy amongst the shadows of the incoming war in the fact that he would never have to set eyes on the wolf and his poor excuses for friends again. Fate had been kind, he thought, when Sirius Black was left to rot in Azkaban. James Potter and Peter Pettigrew were dead, and Remus Lupin was missing in action. Severus didn’t necessarily relish in the fact, however, it was definitely the easiest part of the war to accept.

Fate, however, had not been so kind to Severus when she landed the wolf with the job of Professor of Defence Against The Dark Arts.

Severus felt his blood run cold when he set eyes on Lupin’s tan-coloured robes and sandy hair for the first time in over twelve years. He avoided him throughout the pre-term staff meetings and clenched his jaw as Lupin settled into the seat beside him during the Welcoming Feast. Severus could feel the wolf sneaking glances at him out of the corner of his eye throughout the night. The air stagnated between them and Severus left as soon as he could.

Albus had already approached him before the start of the term to ask him to brew a monthly Wolfsbane potion. He couldn’t exactly decline in his position, but that meant that he truly couldn’t avoid Lupin all year until the next DADA teacher came along. Just nine long months, if Severus prayed hard enough, it could be less time than that.

In the week leading up to the start of the term, Severus had spent most of his time restocking the potions Poppy Pomfrey required in the hospital wing. However, with the new, surprise task of brewing a Wolfsbane potion in time for the third day of term, Severus slipped behind schedule and was still making pepper-up potions well into the first week. He finished his second batch of this particular potion on the fifth day of the term. After a quick word with Poppy, Severus dropped off the fresh batch of potions and exited the hospital wing. He had finally caught up with the potions demand; there should be enough to last through the first term.

Severus turned the corner to continue down towards his quarters for the night, but instead, he narrowly avoided knocking over a taller, broader man. He instinctively bracketed Severus’ arms with his own to soften the collision and chuckled to himself. He dropped his arms, shoving his hands into the pockets over his oversized, umber coat.

“Severus, I’m glad I bumped into you,” Remus smiled, “I was looking for you. We should talk.” Severus fought the urge to roll his eyes. Instead, he brushed past the older man to continue on his way. He had no interest in having a friendly discussion with the wolf. Remus followed him, half a step behind him as though he was anticipating Severus to shove him away.

When it was clear Remus wasn’t going to relent, Severus spoke, “About what, Lupin?”

He stopped walking, Remus crowded his back before he stepped around Severus to look him in the eye. As much as it broiled his insides, Severus silently admitted that Remus had grown attractive in time. He was charming and handsome in a scrappy way and Severus loathed it. Remus had aged like fine wine. Severus averted his gaze to the paintings lining the corridor, the collar of his robes had grown hot.

“You can’t even look me in the eye, I thought that maybe if we-,”

“If we what?” Severus asked. Remus pinched the bridge of his nose then looked down at Severus.

“I’m not saying we become friends, we don’t have to hold hands or anything, Severus. But we could at least be civil to each other,” Remus sighed.

“I’m being civil, aren’t I? What else should I be doing?” Severus asked.

“You’re avoiding me, I thought we could put the past behind us. We should at least be able to talk to each other if you’re going to be brewing those potions for me all year,” Remus said. Severus frowned. As he was about to respond, he felt something snake tightly around the back of his kneecaps.

“What-”

He looked down. A glowing, brassy cord wound itself around his and Lupin’s legs. Starting around the knees, it worked its way up around their thighs, before its user pulled it taunt and forced Severus to knock into Remus. He ignored the way Remus was pulled flush against him, unable to move. Severus tried to look around to see who was trying to restrain them, but the corridor was nearly deserted save from some seventh year Ravenclaws near the other end.

“Snivelling Snape and Looney Lunar Lupin! A caustic reunion!” Severus’ shoulders slumped when he recognised Peeves’ booming, brazen voice from above them. “With a little help from me, you’ll be _closer_ than ever.”

Severus shivered as Peeves sank to their level and released a strong gust of wind on them. They swayed on the spot, but Remus’ terrible balance sent them crashing to the floor. Thanks to Remus’ quick thinking, Severus was saved from a painful head injury. As they fell, Remus wrapped his arms around Severus’ head and pulled his face into the crook of his neck. His forearms caught the brunt of the fall, and the painful groan he let out told Severus that he was likely going to go looking for some bruise salve after this.

Remus pulled his arms out from underneath Severus’ head, but the pair couldn’t move beyond that. Remus tried to keep most of his weight off of Severus, but after a minute he collapsed on top of him.

“Peeves, cut it out!” Severus shouted up at the poltergeist to no avail. Peeves warbled a horrid tune about the two Professors and how they’re closer than ever. He disappeared through the roof, leaving the Professors helpless. Severus tried to rotate them onto their side so he could concentrate, but Remus had trapped Severus’ arms at his sides when they fell. Remus’ weight didn’t budge; Severus experimentally raised his hips to see if he could push them apart, but he _quickly_ discovered that it was a bad idea to press their groins any further together than they already were.

“Can you move your legs at all?” Remus asked him, pointedly ignored Severus’ writhing figure. Severus tested his legs, but he already knew the answer. Remus’ heartbeat against Severus' chest and his breathing on his neck was starting to annoy him.

“No,” Severus grunted. “This is your fault, Lupin. If you weren’t so adamant about speaking to me, we wouldn’t be in this mess.”

“My fault? Severus-”

“I don’t want to hear your weak rebuttal. Can you reach your wand?” Severus asked. Remus shifted, bearing even more weight onto Severus as he reached into the pocket of his robes to retrieve his wand. He could hear chatter from some of the older students, all of them were laughing but none offered to help. Severus would give anything for the floor to open up and swallow him whole.

Remus tried a simple jinx to detangle the cord from around their legs, but it rebounded and fizzled. Remus stuffed his wand back in his robes, Severus was hyper-aware of every small movement.

“This is useless, we’re going to have to try to get out without magic,” Remus said.

“Are you serious? You barely tried,” Severus scoffed. Remus had already begun trying to wriggle upwards out of the cords. Either he was too naive to notice or polite enough to ignore the position he was putting them both into. “ _Stop_.”

“Why? It’s better than doing nothing and you clearly don’t have any better ideas. Silence suits you,” Remus said, his lips pulled down into a frown in a rare moment of scathing anger. Severus was momentarily stunned by Remus’ outburst, but he wasn’t going to prove him right.

“Oh, bite me, Lupin,” Severus snarled, fists clenched at his sides. He needed to think of a solution, quickly.

“Just tell me where,” Remus said, voice getting dangerously low. He was just as stubborn as Severus - a fault on both of their behalfs.

“Excuse me, gentlemen.” The usual sweet-sounding voice of Poppy Pomfrey was twisted in disbelief. Severus was more relieved to see her face than he was embarrassed. She could help them out of this mess and Severus could finally disappear for the night. Hopefully, he could go back to avoiding Remus altogether.

Then he remembered the situation they were in; Remus pinning Severus to the floor by his hips, their legs bound together and Remus trapping Severus’ arms with his own. Not to mention the thinly veiled threat of biting the older professor that was loud enough for all the occupants of the corridor to hear. Had they been in closed quarters, the situation would be downright obscene.

“It’s not what it looks like,” Remus gasped, vocalising what Severus hoped was obvious. By the evident look of relief on Poppy’s face, this was not obvious enough.


	2. Minerva McGonagall

After the embarrassing ordeal near the start of the term, Severus made less of an effort to avoid Remus. Severus found that, strangely enough, old feelings of mutual distrust tended to evaporate after you felt the press of their groin against your own. He tried not to dwell on it. Their conversations spread from being only Wolfsbane potion related to other, more mundane requests like passing the butter at breakfast.

Severus sorely hoped that the incident in the corridor had been forgotten by all witnesses and the other participating party, but once or twice Severus had caught Remus’ eyes resting on the top button on his trousers or his fly. The wolf seemed like he didn’t know he was doing it, or that he wanted to address the elephant in the room. He could at least have the decency to try to ignore the ordeal, as Severus has done, but he never had much luck when dealing with Remus. If Peeves were a solid entity, Severus would have beaten him black and blue for giving Remus a mutually uncomfortable fixation on his lower half.

The students were in a similar, uneasy state. The seventh years who eagerly watched the event couldn’t keep the debacle to themselves, the rest of the seventh years and most of the older cohort knew about Peeves’ prank. He kept catching NEWT students in his own classes giving him strange, penetrating looks, eyeing his clothes and his hair and it set Severus on edge. Students barely looked at the methods on the blackboard, let alone paid attention to him while he addressed the class. This was entirely and foreignly new.

Curiously, the odd looks followed him from class to class and began to appear in the younger year levels. It had been two weeks since he was unfortunately tied to the new professor, yet the looks only began to grow more numerous and intense two days ago. It wasn’t until his next third year Gryffindor and Slytherin Potions class that he received an explanation. Longbottom looked less terrified than usual, if not a little giddy. His Potions skills were still abysmal - that could be concluded by the deep green smog spilling out from his cauldron when the concoction in question wasn't supposed to emit gas. Severus vanished the ruined Potion with a wave of his wand and chastised the boy for failing to follow the basic instructions written on the board. Longbottom looked unperturbed, and Severus asked him if he was paying attention to a word he was saying.

“Probably still thinking about you in that dress,” came a voice from the other side of the room.

Severus momentarily froze, before he fixed his face with an even harsher resolve. “That _what_?”

Giggles erupted around the classroom. Severus barked out an order of silence and swivelled to face the boy that called out. Dean Thomas, a Gryffindor who now looked like he regretted speaking out of turn. “Explain, Thomas.”

“In our Defense Against The Dark Arts class two days ago, Professor Lupin brought in a boggart. He, er-, made Neville picture you in his grandmother’s dress,” Dean answered sheepishly. In a rare instance, Severus was lost for words. Dean must have taken his blank stare as a prompt to elaborate, “There was also a hat with a stuffed vulture on it-”

“Enough, Mr. Thomas. 10 points from Gryffindor for talking out of turn.” Any traces of amusement on the faces of the Gryffindor half of his class vanished in an instant. The rest of the period continued in silence - bar the fizzing and chopping sounds from the various stations around the room. Severus seethed internally, he couldn’t berate Lupin for this until his classes for the day were finished; he still had the fifth year Ravenclaw and Hufflepuffs after this class.

As Severus expected, the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs gave him the same glances filled with barely contained amusement. A smaller portion of students looked at him with an ounce of _pity_ in their eyes. Merlin, save him. It would be a miracle if he survived this class to chew Remus out.

The final class ended for the day, leaving two hours before dinner. That would give Severus plenty of time to find Remus and demand answers. As he stalked upwards from the dungeons, he was met with the same penetrating gaze from every student, like they were trying to picture him in, what was no doubt, the horrid garment.

Severus found Remus outside the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom. He was closing the door behind him, his final class must have just finished. A mix of sixth-year students were sprawled around the vicinity, leaning against the stone walls and conversing with themselves.

“Professor,” Severus said, catching Remus’ attention. He swivelled around with a lazy smile on his face.

“Severus, I don’t believe I have a scheduled meeting with you yet,” Remus replied. The berk thought this was about the Wolfsbane Potion?

“No, it would seem that this is an _un_ scheduled meeting. May we talk somewhere a little more private?” Severus requested, eyeing the locked Defence classroom behind them. Remus cast a look back over his shoulder and nodded. He opened the door and ushered Severus inside. Once inside, Remus locked the door and Severus cast an inconspicuous Muffliato charm on the door to ward off any eavesdroppers.

He fixed Remus with a cold stare. “Would you like to explain to me just why half the student body has been trying to picture me in some frumpy dress over the past two days?”

Severus watched a small muscle in Remus’ jaw tense.

“No answer, Lupin?” Severus asked snidely.

“Well, there’s a reasonable explanation-”

“No there isn’t. Do you aim to humiliate me for the rest of our lives? Wasn’t it enough that you almost killed me when we were students?” It was a low blow, and Severus knew it, but he was beyond the point of maintaining a civilised argument.

“Humiliate? Severus, that was never my intention. I was only trying to engage the class. Neville was the first student to face the boggart in the class, and he said it could have easily turned into his grandmother instead of you. Maybe it was in poor judgement, but the students were rather afraid at the prospect of facing a boggart, so I wanted to use an example I knew wasn’t going alarm any of them-”

Severus cut off Remus’ rambling. “ _Of course_ it was in poor judgement. It showed an absolute lack of critical thinking skills, not that I’d expect anything less from you.”

“I beg your pardon?” Remus furrowed his brow and crossed his arms over his chest. He’d finally struck a nerve, now he _really_ had the wolf listening.

“You’ll see fit to never pull a stunt like that in your class again, or a certain rumour about the new, pulchritudinous Professor might find its way around the school,” Severus threatened. He spat the compliment like it was an insult and Remus frowned at him.

Before Remus could respond, Severus spun on his heel and exited the room. He felt that he’d made his point quite clear, there was no need to linger around and listen to Remus’ half-baked excuses. Outside, swathes of students ran back from the door as he swung it open, trying their best to look nonchalant. Severus was glad he added the silencing spell when he did.

Remus followed him through the door and called after him.

“Severus!”

He halted, but he didn’t turn around to face Remus. Instead, he crossed his arms over his chest and kept his posture ramrod straight.

The students rushed back at Remus’ presence, eager to see a screaming match. Severus refused to let it get that far, he didn’t want to add to the gossip. No doubt everyone would curse him for daring to fight Hogwarts’ new, beloved Defence Professor. Remus reached out a broad hand to grasp Severus’ shoulder, the sensation burned through the layers of his teaching robes to his skin.

Severus glared at the growing crowd. He went to chastise them for loitering in the hallways, but something strange happened before he got the chance to. Like he was compelled by some outside force, Remus crowded against Severus. He heard the clinking of metal below and instinctively looked down; the metal clasps on their boots unbuckled and stuck to each other, unmoving when Severus tried to pull his legs away. Remus’ hand spasmed on his shoulder and snapped down to Severus’ belt.

“ _What_ are you doing-”

“Nothing, I swear!” Remus immediately defended. “It’s a magnetism charm.” He spoke low in Severus’ ear, breath fanning on the back of his neck through his hair.

_Ah_. Sure enough, when he looked down he saw that Remus wore two metal alloy rings, one on his right thumb and the other on his left pointer finger. They stuck to the metal lining the notches in Severus’ belt; Severus watched Remus uselessly clench his hands as he tried to rip them away.

“Why would you cast something like that?” Severus hissed.

“Did you hear me cast a magnetism spell? I’m not even holding my wand,” Remus countered. Severus missed that detail, but it was now glaringly obvious. He blocked out the annoying tittering from the sixth years, he could deal with them once he was out of this mess. “And now I can’t reach it to perform the countercurse, can you reach yours?”

_What a ridiculous question_ , Severus thought. Of course he could reach his wand. Until he tried to move to get it.

Remus’ arms were now tightly curled around his sides, effectively pinning his arms down. Severus struggled against him, trying to free his arms, but even with Remus’ co-operation, they couldn’t budge.

“It seems that I cannot,” Severus answered. “Any other bright ideas?”

Remus fell silent and hummed in thought. The sound was low and rumbling, and even though Severus fought with him less than five minutes ago, he had to suppress a chill from running down his spine.

Severus became hyper-aware of the way Remus’ entire body was in contact with his. From the nose nudging the back of his hair, to his arms trailing down his sides and circling around to the front of his belt, to the line of his torso pressed up against his back, to the warm press of his groin against his ass. His muscled thighs tensed against the back of his legs as Severus tried to straighten up more in an effort to put more space between them.

“Let me see if I can get my rings off,” Remus eventually decided. “They’re quite tight, and I can’t really get any purchase on them, so we might be here a while before I get a hand free.” Fucking perfect.

Remus’ fingers curled into Severus’ hips tightly as he tried to wriggle the rings off his fingers. When they failed to snag on anything, he pressed harder into Severus and twisted his hands. Nothing worked, but with each passing moment, Severus felt his blood pressure rise. He wasn’t sure yet if it was from anger or the close proximity of the larger man, and he didn’t want this to last long enough to find out. He was growing restless, desperate.

“Could you move any faster?” Severus snarled.

“This is harder than it looks, I don’t have any leverage,” Remus said. He was softly huffing in Severus’ ear with effort as he struggled and failed to remove the rings. He tried so hard to ignore the sounds, but combined with the incessant press of his crotch against his arse, that was proving more and more difficult. It was a combination too dangerous for Severus.

“If you didn’t insist on storming off in the middle of our discussion, we wouldn’t be in this mess.”

Severus saw red.

“Yes, it’s my fault. Maybe if I was wearing one of those skimpy dresses you love seeing me in, the magnetism charm wouldn’t have anything to adhere to.”

Remus grunted softly by his ear, Severus could picture the man baring his teeth in frustration as he struggled against him.

Before he had the chance to dismiss the claim, a stern voice interrupted them. “Gentlemen.”

His stomach dropped. He could recognise those thin remnants of the Scottish accent anywhere. Severus wanted the roof to cave in, the floor to collapse from underneath him, _anything_ to stop him from facing Minerva. Severus heard the faint fizzling of a spell and suddenly Remus was pulling back from him as though he’d been burnt. Severus found that his back felt cold without the heat radiating from Remus’ torso.

Severus looked up from the spot on the floor he fixated on for the past ten minutes. The crowd had dispersed since the start of the ordeal. Severus didn’t know when it had happened, but he had a feeling that Minerva’s sudden appearance had a correlation.

And Minerva - she looked a far shout from the disappointed that Severus expected to find her looking. Faint, red dots coloured her pallid cheeks, and she had a bemused expression on her face. Severus prayed to any listening deities that she hadn’t heard the last part of their spat.

“What happened?” Minerva asked.

“I suspect that a student placed a magnetism charm on our clothing, although I’m afraid I’m not sure who it was,” Remus confessed.

“And why would they do that?”

Remus raised a hand to the back of his neck, and Severus tracked the movement of those blasted rings. On any other man, in any other circumstance, those rings would single-handedly turn him on. But here, now, they were the bane of his existence.

“Ah, we had a disagreement of sorts. I guess they thought it would be funny to charm us,” Remus guessed sheepishly.

Minerva pursed her lips. “I see, we can run scans on the sixth year's wands to see their recent spells. The magnetism charm isn’t overly common, so finding out who was responsible should be an easy task.”

Remus nodded as a gracious smile spread across his face. “Thank you, Minerva. I’ll assist you,” he offered.

Minerva shook her head. “Not needed. I’ll see you two again at dinner.” She turned away from them to walk away but halted as though she remembered something. She looked back at them and said, “Next time, keep the lover’s quarrel in your private quarters, lest students try to jinx you again.”

She didn’t wait for them to correct her; she already began striding away, leaving behind two embarrassed Professors.

That night, Severus was pleased to hear that the girl responsible was serving a month’s worth of detention with Filch for jinxing two Professors. He only wished he could personally expel her. He had her to thank for the myriad of confusing feelings regarding the Defence Professor.


	3. Albus Dumbledore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Compared to the last two chapters, this one is definitely tamer. I hope you enjoy!

Several days before the end of term found Severus on his night shift. After sightings of Sirius Black showed that he was moving closer and closer to Hogwarts, Albus thought it necessary to have the staff work in shifts throughout the night. He disclosed to Severus that Black would try to reach the Potter boy by any means necessary. Severus scoffed when he heard this; there wasn’t much someone could do if a vicious monster like Black had his sights set on someone.

Nevertheless, Severus wandered the halls as midnight closed in. He kept his wand clutched in his hand, a dim light emitted from the tip. As he passed some portraits, they complained about the light, but Severus ignored them. He wasn’t going to trip over a small bump in a disturbed rug because some _portraits_ wanted to sleep.

To fight off his impending boredom, he recited the ingredients of the Wolfsbane potion in his mind. _Aconite, blood of prairie, more aconite, dittany, more aconite._ Riveting. Wherever Albus was, he must be laughing at Severus’ misfortune.

After a long, slow lap of the school, Severus found himself near the courtyard. The crescent moon shone above, filtering through the opening and iridescing the grounds, tree, and greying brick walls. He paused and placed both hands on a low-lying wall between a stone arch, leaning forward slightly. Such a sight shouldn’t be wasted on him.

Gentle footsteps on his right startled him; Severus took out his wand to illuminate where the moonlight wouldn’t reach. Remus Lupin’s face smiled back under the artificial light. “Night shift?”

Severus pocketed his wand. “Yes, _my_ night shift. What are you doing up at this hour?”

Remus’ lazy smile didn’t falter underneath Severus’ analysing gaze. He walked over to the archway next to Severus and leaned forward on the bricks, copying his stance. His cloak fell to his ankles, dark brown and fraying at the edges. Severus pocketed his wand.

“I was thinking,” Remus started, “that we haven’t always seen eye to eye-“

“A genius deduction.”

“-And I wanted to change that. Our reacquaintance has been a rocky start as when we met in our schooling days, but I see no reason for that animosity to still exist.”

Severus hesitated, confused as to why he chose this exact moment to...mend fences? Atone? “And you got out of bed at this hour to seek me out? Got my roster written out, have you?”

Remus laughed sheepishly, raising a broad hand to the back of his neck. The light caught a white scar on the back of his hand and Severus’ mind reeled back to the magnetic charm incident last week. How those hands grasped his hips, pulled at his belt.

“I couldn’t sleep.” Remus looked straight out across the courtyard, likely enthralled by the lighting as Severus was. “I oft go for walks around the castle when I can’t sleep. Plus, I’m helping you do your job.”

“Why are you doing this? What’s your motive?” He asked, steering the conversation away from the sentimental territory. He had a sinking feeling that the answer may be just as sentimental, if not more.

Remus pulled away from the archway, cloak folding around his tall figure. Severus followed the movement, turning to face him. Remus made a quick gesture with his head, beckoning Severus to follow him. He complied uneasily.

“You’re an exceptional wizard, Severus,” Remus started. Severus ignored how his stomach clenched when he said his first name, a title reserved for few. He didn’t counter it. Remus guided them through the passageways of Hogwarts, directing them to Merlin knows where. “I’ve always thought so, you’ve proved it time and time again.”

“-And you’ve found another way to monopolise this, despite you already having my potions skills at your dispense,” Severus filled in the blanks. Remus wanted a favour. “What is it?”

Instead of responding, Remus took a sudden, sharp turn right, bringing them to a halt outside the defense classroom. He unlocked it and held the door open for Severus, who cautiously entered. The tables and chairs had been swept to the sides of the room, likely out of place from a practical lesson earlier in the day.

Severus walked to the centre of the room, turning to face Remus. He felt for his wand through his robes as Remus shut the door behind them. Remus took out his own wand, running his fingers over the length. Although he suppressed the reaction, a very real pang of danger settled in his stomach.

“I want to practice duelling with you,” Remus said.

 _‘What?’_ Severus thought.

“What?” His mouth copied.

Remus replaced the hand at his neck, a nervous tick. “I need to be prepared if...anything happens this year. Dumbledore said it himself, Sirius is going to try to get to Harry. I’m not going to let anything happen to him,” Remus took in a shaky breath, “but when it comes down to it, Sirius has always been a better duellist than me.”

“Not after twelve years in Azkaban, I would think,” Severus chided.

“It doesn’t _matter_ ,” Remus huffed. “I would rather be prepared, I’m not letting anything happen to Harry Potter.”

Severus stared for a moment, forgetting himself. It was rare to see the other man agitated or nervous, but he’d been a combination of both the entire night. As much as Severus was tempted to say he’d rather not waste his time, he’d do anything except go back to aimlessly wandering the halls. At the very least, watching Remus make a fool of himself would be entertaining.

“The Defense professor gets help with duelling from the Potions professor, how ironic,” Severus mused, ultimately pulling out his own wand for the second time that night.

“It’s not _help_ , it’s practice,” Remus insisted.

“Whatever you say, wolf.”

The first spell came as a shock, barrelling directly past Severus and crashing into the brick wall behind him. It was a warning, more than anything, and Severus was suddenly interested in this duel.

Across the classroom, a teasing smirk settled into Remus’ features. Severus sent a simple hex back at him, testing the waters. He blocked it with a verbal shield charm.

“This isn’t class, you don’t have to announce your every move,” Severus called out. Remus responded by sending a non-verbal stunning spell towards Severus, who blocked it.

This pattern continued for several minutes, flinging curses and hexes back and forth in the dimly lit room. Severus felt heat grow behind his collar, sticking the fabric to the back of his neck. Remus looked in a similar way, a little out of shape with duelling since the end of the war over a decade ago.

With his apparent fatigue, Remus reverted back to verbal casting. Every spell was getting easier to block, and Severus was sure Remus was just going to ask them to duel again until he won.

“Try to use non-verbal attacks, your opponent won’t be able to block them as easily,” Severus called out once more as he sent another stinging hex towards Remus, which brightly collided with his shielding spell.

“ _Diffindo_.”

“Did you not hear what I _just_ said?” Severus blocked the spell with ease. “I can see your attacks coming. This is basic defense, you teach the damn subject.” Had he not seen it coming, that particular spell could have severed a major artery.

“ _Relashio_.”

“Shut up!” Severus all but yelled, desperate to make his words sink in.

“Make me. _Aguamenti!_ l” Remus countered. The jet of water erupted with such force that it blasted Severus directly in the chest, knocking him back several feet and drenching his robes.

He gasped and fought the instinct to recoil, the water was icy cold. The spell plastered his robes to his body, swaths of fabric clung to his chest and legs. While he was trying to find a way to rid himself of the water, Remus silently disarmed him.

Severus looked up, hands falling uselessly at his sides. Remus’ face was flushed and his chest rose and fell quickly and shallowly.

“Look who’s finally silent,” Severus goaded.

“You’re in no position to talk either, Severus.” Remus threw his wand back to him.

For a long moment, the only sounds that filled the room were Remus’ slowing breaths and the crackling of magic as Severus cast a drying charm on himself. The cloak weighed heavy around his neck, Severus took it off and it fell to the floor. He focused the drying charm on it until it was warm, then folded it and carried it under his arm. It had gotten too warm in the classroom to re-don it.

After another long moment, Severus spoke, “An...interesting tactic - to annoy your duelling partner into distraction and land an unconventional charm, one not oft used for attacking. You have a tendency to do that, adapting usually harmless charms into offensive spells.”

“You said so yourself, I’m the professor. I have to think of unconventional methods to stand out,” Remus chuckled. “And _you_ have to watch your own technique. You got so caught up in making sure I was doing the right thing that you forgot that this was a duel.”

“Were you not announcing your every move so clearly, that task would have been easier to achieve.”

“That was the point, as you _just_ stated. I’m teaching the sixth and seventh years about non-verbal defense, I know what I’m doing,” Remus argued.

Severus scoffed. _What was he doing here_? He needed to get back to his job. As boring as it was, at least it didn’t make his blood pressure rise. He made his way to the door, Remus trailing just behind him, no doubt in an effort to further argue his point.

Severus opened the door and nearly collided into Albus Dumbledore. He stood perfectly still, hands clasped in front of him with a pensive look on his face. He took a step back to let Remus and Severus out of the classroom, but his analytical gaze didn’t stray from their flushed faces - Severus’s from the drying charm and Remus’ from the duel - and Severus’ dripping wet hair. He became hyper-aware of the cloak folded over in his arms, still warm from the drying spell. He practically never took off his outermost piece of clothing, he had no clue what conclusion Albus would come to regarding its removal.

“Gentlemen,” Albus greeted.

“Albus,” Severus gave a curt nod of his head.

He pushed his half-moon spectacles up the bridge of his nose and fixed Severus with another penetrative stare. He felt the brush of legilimency against his mind and resisted the urge to scowl at the older man. Instead, he reinforced his occlumency shields and bit back the question of why Albus would be interested in finding out what lurked in his mind at this hour.

Beside him, Remus cleared his throat, which broke Albus’ concentration. He gave them both a small smile as he straightened his posture.

“I believe you have a night shift to finish, Severus. I’d suggest you do that before attending to your...personal affairs,” Albus said, turning his gaze to Remus for the last part.

If his face wasn’t red before, it was now. Remus side-stepped away from Severus, but not enough to put any real distance between them. Severus’ stomach lurched dangerously at the implications of Albus’ assumption.

Then it lurched once more when he realised the idea wasn’t entirely off-putting.

Throwing the ludicrous notion from his mind, Severus refocused on the dilemma at hand - an embarrassed Remus and a conniving Albus. “Of course, Headmaster. We won’t slip up like this again.”

With another smile, Albus turned and disappeared into the night, no light illuminating the hallways.

“Why didn’t you correct him?” Remus asked once he left, eyes boring straight into Severus.

“Why should I?” Severus smirked. “Let him think what he wants to think. Let them talk. At the very least, it could be amusing.”

Remus furrowed his brow. “You think so?”

“It doesn’t matter what I think, correct him yourself next time, wolf.” Severus walked away before Remus could respond, leaving him standing alone in the corridor.

He pushed the Freudian slip “next time” from his mind; given their track record this year, this was bound to happen again.


	4. Pomona Sprout

Surprisingly, Albus refrained from making any insinuating comments or suggestive looks, besides the odd glance about once a week; he would raise both of his silver eyebrows at Severus whenever he was near Remus, and Severus was powerless to stop it. 

The only time Severus could find solace from this was when he was teaching or when he was brewing. Teaching, of course, was _not_ Severus’ preferred method of escapism, so he relied on his private brewing to calm his mind. It was so easy to fall into the rhythms of potion-making, so easy to forget your surroundings and zone in on your craft.

Which is why the knock on Severus’ door one cold afternoon startled him into dropping a conical flask. A quick _reparo_ mended the shards of glass - thank Merlin the flask was empty when he dropped it - and a flick of his wand opened the door. 

On the other side of the door stood Remus. 

Just how long had he been _Remus_ , not Lupin, in Severus’ mind?

He wore his familiar, shabby teaching robes, and carried two mugs of steaming hot coffee. “Care for a drink?”

“Of coffee? This late in the afternoon?” Severus asked.

Remus nodded, seemingly finding nothing wrong with the premise. Severus rolled his eyes and ushered him inside the room, flicking his wand once more and swinging the door shut behind Remus.

“What do you want?” Severus asked. He should have asked that before he let him inside, now he would be impossible to get rid of.

Remus idled on the spot before walking forward and setting the cups down on a nearby table. “I want you to show me how I can help you with the Wolfsbane Potion.”

“You can help me by leaving-”

“Severus.”

“-it’s complex enough as it is, I don’t need you cluttering up the space with your menial attempts at ‘help’,” Severus finished. 

“But if you become incapacitated somehow, who else will be able to brew the potion for me?” Remus pestered. 

Severus put down his knife after he finished slicing the root on his cutting board, then turned to face Remus. “If you do _anything_ in here that results in this laboratory being damaged, then _so help me_ -”

“I’m glad you’re showing me how to do this,” Remus cut him off, shedding his outer robe and pushing his sleeves to his elbows. Severus’ eyes skimmed his well-muscled forearms - hopefully they would be useful when it came to moving the cauldron to the window.

“Don’t thank me yet, I've already half-finished your monthly batch. I’ll have to show you next month again if you’re serious about learning this,” Severus replied. 

Remus nodded, strangely unbothered by the premise of spending more time with Severus, and joined Severus at his desk. They spent the next hour cutting and preparing ingredients, then adding them to the cauldron at specific times. The conversation began to shift from academic instruction to the schooling year, to Sirius Black and his recent sighting, to their checkered past.

“Do you remember when you yelled at me in front of those students?” Remus started. “I don’t think I’ve felt that mortified in a long time.”

Severus let out a surprised laugh. He thought - at least, he hoped - that Remus wouldn’t bring up the series of unfortunate circumstances that had occurred to them throughout this schooling period. “Yes, I remember that. You deserved it.” Severus stood his ground.

“Did I? I can hardly remember what we were fighting about,” Remus said.

“Why not?”

Remus raised an eyebrow. “Why not? It was weeks ago,” he cleared his throat and added in a softer voice, “and my memories were almost immediately overwritten by what followed.”

_Ah_. So they _were_ going to talk about this. Severus didn’t want to break the easygoing atmosphere they’d created over the past hour with talk of their...mishaps. He didn’t want to say too much and make it seem like he was reading into things, but he didn’t want to awkwardly sweep things under the rug. If it came down to it, Severus could blame everything on a made-up blood curse on the Prince name, Remus would be none the wiser if he played it off correctly.

When Severus remained silent, Remus continued, “And by what came beforehand.”

_That_ caught Severus off-guard. Nothing happened beforehand, did it? “What do you mean?”

Remus laughed, resting a broad hand over his stomach. “It was you. You- you said something to me.”

“I sure hope so, we were fighting,” Severus shot back. 

“No, you called me something. It was rather abrupt and I had to define it afterwards - context clues were no help, you could have been insulting me for all I knew,” Remus started to ramble and Severus was starting to lose interest again.

“Spit it out,” Severus ordered.

“How do you pronounce it again? Pulchi- pul-”

A memory quickly came to Severus’ mind, and now he knew what Remus was rabbiting about. “Pulchritudinous?”

“That,” Remus smiled. “No one has ever called me beautiful in such an extravagant way before.”

Severus chose his next words carefully. “I find that hard to believe.”

“Well, no one has ever called me beautiful before - especially not with an effusive synonym for it,” Remus furrowed his brow as though he were trying to remember any instance of that occurring. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Severus studied Remus up close. He prayed that the man wouldn’t turn and see him shamelessly ogling him, trying to decide whether Remus was telling the truth or not. He was more weatherbeaten now than he was in his youth - that was a given. But there was something about the creases around his eyes and next to his mouth that added more appeal to the rough-looking man.

“I find that even harder to believe.”

Remus looked at Severus, who redirected his attention to the cauldron they had just moved. It now sat by the window, ready to catch the moonlight in the brew once the moon broke over the horizon and rose in the sky. Severus stepped back from the newly-placed cauldron and went to the preparation table to pack up leftover ingredients and liquids. 

In an effort to drag the subject away from the dangerous topic they lurked near, Remus returned to the two cups of coffee he brought in over an hour ago. “I almost forgot about these. I don’t know how you like it so I left it black.”

“We’ve sat next to each other every morning for the past several months,” Severus reasoned. “That being said, you still got my order right.”

“Are you saying I should keep tabs on your every movement, Severus?” Remus queried before he screwed his face up. “Wait, the question I should be asking is if you truly like black coffee.”

“The way nature intended.” Remus rolled his eyes and smiled as he walked up to Severus, hand holding his coffee outstretched.

Two things happened at once. 

Severus, in an uncommon occurrence of clumsiness, knocked over a caustic liquid as he reached to grab the coffee. The force of the movement sent the flask flying off the desk, upending itself on Remus’ thick-fabric pants. Remus hissed in shock and he reeled back, spilling both of the coffees down the front of his tan shirt. 

“Fuck,” he hissed out, biting his own lip and stifling a shout. “Fuck, that’s hot.”

Severus’ mind snapped, honing in on the weak acid eating its way through Remus’ pants, likely milliseconds away from scalding his skin. “Get out of those, quick!”

“What?”

“Your-” Severus looked up and saw the mess of scalding coffee down his front, “-everything.”

Remus wasted no time. He pulled his shirt apart, already deeming it ruined, sending loosely sewn buttons clattering to the ground. He moved his shaking fingers to his fly, pulling it down and shedding his pants, leaving him in a pair of loose boxers. Something animalistic in Severus’ brain switched on at the sight, but the image of the reddening skin on his chest and blistering skin on his thigh pulled him away from those thoughts.

Severus vanished the excess coffee and acid from his body, but there wasn’t much he could do for the burns. They needed to get to Poppy as quickly as possible. But there was one question nagging at the back of Severus’ mind.

“That coffee has been sitting there for over an hour,” Severus started.

“So?” Remus asked, clenching and unclenching his hands by his sides, trying to distract from the pain.

“Then _why_ was it still so hot?” Severus asked.

“I put a heating charm on it!” Remus moaned through gasped breaths, digging his fingernails into his palms clearly didn’t help.

“And now you have first degree burns all over your chest,” Severus said. “This is _your_ handiwork.” Damage control, he couldn’t be blamed for all of this.

“No thanks to you, I wouldn’t have dropped it if you didn’t knock over that flask like it was your first day in the lab,” Remus defended himself, voice carrying a rare hoarse note.

“Oh, bite me, arsehole,” Severus growled. Remus’ face turned the colour of his chest and he frowned down at him. Severus repaired Remus’ pants and shirt - removing the coffee and acid - before handing them back to Remus. “You might want to get dressed before I take you to the Hospital Wing.”

“The Hospital Wing? It’s not that bad,” Remus argued weakly, though Severus could tell that he was holding back winces any time he moved his leg.

“ _I’m_ the Potions Master, I’ll be the one to decide when a chemical burn is severe enough to warrant medical attention - which is always,” Severus reasoned. 

Remus shrugged the shirt back onto his shoulders and reached down to start buttoning it up. “Fine, we’ll go,” he conceded. He let out a small laugh as he looked down at his freshly cleaned shirt. Severus furrowed his brow, he wasn’t quite sure what he was laughing at.

“What is it?” Severus asked. There was a knock at the door, and without thinking, nearly instinctively, he flicked his wand and opened the door for the visitor. It had to be a staff member - students didn't know about his private lab.

“Next time, you’ll warn me if one of these sessions ends with me stripping off my clothes, won’t you?” Remus asked with a crass smile.

“Am I interrupting something, gentlemen?” Pomona Sprout’s voice sounded from the doorway. She stood just inside the room, holding the door closed behind her, and her cheeks glowed a faint rosy pink colour. Remus whipped around to face her, hands still hovering above the buttons on his shirt. Even from this distance, Severus noticed the way Pomona’s eyes quickly survey Remus’ state of dress - or undress. 

No. There was no way this was happening again. 

Severus took a step back from Remus, desperate to put some visible distance between the two. Remus froze up, stumbling over words, not sure how to explain himself. Serves him right, Severus thought, why would he say something so idiotic and suggestive like that given their track record for these types of occurrences?

“Pomona, this is _not_ what it looks like,” Severus stressed.

Pomona gave them both a forced yet cheery smile, likely trying to de-escalate the situation. “I’m not quite sure what you are referring to.” 

_Bless her heart_ , Severus thought bitterly. At least she had the decency to ignore the suggestive nature of the situation, but she deserved an explanation. Admittedly, the explanation would be more to save his own skin rather than to give Pomona peace of mind.

“I have to get Remus to the Hospital Wing, he spilt acid and scalding coffee on himself.” Severus shot Remus a quick look, silently ordering him not to get into the intricacies of the situation in front of Pomona. He frowned back at Severus but fixed Pomona with a gentle smile - verifying Severus’ version of events.

Pomona’s gaze flickered between the two of them, her jaw clenched firmly as she tried to decipher the truth. Eventually, she sighed and said, “Alright, you two better visit the Hospital Wing, that burn on your thigh does look rather nasty, Remus. I’d suggest you put your pants back on before you leave. Severus, I’ll speak to you soon about the Asphodel supply.”

Severus gave her a curt nod of his head and she left, closing the door behind her. Remus quickly finished redressing, wincing as the fabric rubbed on the wound. 

After a minute, Remus spoke, “I think it would be best if we pretend that never happened.”

In a rare instance of solidarity, Severus agreed.


	5. Argus Filch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This final chapter is a bit overdue, but I hope you all enjoy it regardless! Thank you for all the support!

At this stage, it was impossible to ignore.

Remus Lupin had started to plague Severus’ mind. What started out as innocent - barely innocent - ‘What Ifs’ soon progressed and distorted into full-blown fantasies. They assaulted him at various intervals of the day, usually after seeing the Professor in the staff room or during dinner.

Severus wasn’t a spiritual man, but for once, he thanked God that Remus wasn’t an extremely powerful Legilimens. There was no doubt that he’d be sporting a black eye or a red handprint on his cheek if that were the case.

Severus stalked through the lower levels of Hogwarts, eager for the impending end of his night shift. His hours had increased ever since Sirius Black had broken into the Gryffindor Tower, but the extra pay wasn’t worth the lurking sense of dread that lingered around every corner.

And the extra pay certainly wasn’t worth the shock he felt when he spotted a figure at the end of the second-floor corridor. The slightly slouched figure of Remus Lupin. Severus’ pulse picked up. He would have rather encountered an Inferius. 

Remus seemed to spot him at the same time and walked towards Severus. Half a minute later he was by his side, sporting a wary look. Severus turned back to walk the other way, not eager to converse with the man in the middle of the night again. He didn’t relent.

“Should we really be around each other?” Remus hissed, as though any higher volume would alert the nearby ghosts of their presence. 

“Don’t forget that _you’re_ the one following me,” Severus stipulated, not looking to the side as Remus fell in step beside him. Severus quickened his pace.

“Anytime we’re together, something bad happens. You’re a liability.”

“Are you saying it’s _my_ fault?” Severus asked, voice a tad louder than Remus’.

“Well, the last time certainly was,” Remus argued.

Severus scoffed. “If I knew any better, I would say you’re asking for something bad to happen by tailing me.”

“That’s not true-”

And the universe, with all her cosmic, omniscient mysteries, picked that exact moment to interfere.

Peeves’ laughter echoed down the corridor as he materialised through the roof. Before Severus could draw his wand to throw any kind of desperate spell at the apparition, Peeves knocked them back with a strong gust of wind. 

As Severus tried to stop himself from falling over, he looked around for an escape route. On the wall behind them was a rickety wooden door, and if Severus’ memory served him right, it led to a disused History of Magic classroom. It seemed like Remus spotted their only escape at the same time as Severus, for he grabbed him by the sleeve of his robe and dragged him to the door. 

“In here,” Remus commanded as he threw open the door. Remus pushed Severus into the room and pulled the door closed behind him. It was dark and Severus could barely move. Over the commotion of the two trying not to fall on top of one another, the clicking of the lock echoed in the small room.

“Lupin, what have you done?” Severus whispered gravely. The man didn’t respond, he tried to shift a bit but something metallic clanged to the ground. “What is this?”

He kept talking to distract himself from how Remus was pressed up against him, unable to move in the small space lest he sent what Severus believed to be cleaning supplies tumbling to the ground. 

Peeves cackled from outside the broom cupboard, a sinister sound that set Severus further on edge. “Snivelling Snape and Loony Lupin are trapped in the closet, how deliciously _ironic_.” After another laugh, the outside corridor fell silent and they were left alone. 

Severus tried to back away from Remus to no avail, his back was flush against the wall, as was Remus’. In their hasty retreat into the closet, they didn’t have time to rearrange their position, so Severus’ footing was tangled with Remus’. The result was an awkward amalgamation of limbs, Remus had both his hands braced on the wall on either side of Severus, further trapping him in an effort to support his balance. 

“Are we really trapped?” Remus asked.

“It’s unlikely. Can you reach your wand?” Severus answered. Now that his arms were trapped at his sides, he didn’t have a chance of finding his own wand. 

“No, I think I’ll fall over if I move.” That was _not_ the answer Severus wanted to hear.

“This clearly wasn’t made for two people,” Severus said icily.

“There’s not much I can do about that now, Severus.”

“Spare me.”

They lapsed into silence, and with their chests flush together, Severus noticed that they breathed in tandem. This room was _far_ too skinny. Remus’ breath fanned out down the side of Severus’ neck, tickling the skin there. There was no end in sight to this torturous treatment. 

“How long do you think we’ll be here?” Remus asked, voice low and strangely stuttered against Severus’ ear.

“Until someone finds us. No one checks these cupboards except-”

“-Argus,” Remus finished with a groan. His head lolled forward and his forehead collided softly with the wall behind Severus as he let out an exasperated sigh. Remus’ body seemed to lean just _that_ much more into Severus’, but he couldn’t exactly push him away.

He didn’t want to.

The minutes passed in near silence, save for Remus’ breathing near Severus’ ear, and the rustling of fabric every time one of them shifted minutely. The latter was becoming more prevalent on Remus’ behalf; he shifted his weight around as though his legs were getting restless, and his hands changed from their bracing position against the wall every few minutes. It was as though his moves were set on cyclic rotation.

“If you don’t stop moving, I’ll personally remove your legs when we finally get out of here,” Severus threatened into the hollow of Remus’ throat. His nose was inches away from his skin, and the faint smell of cologne rose from the area on his neck. The scent was masculine and rugged and Severus didn’t know why but he couldn’t bring himself to pull away from the smell.

“I can’t help it,” Remus complained, almost juvenile in his words save for the way it was breathed in a ragged sigh.

All the little factors were starting to wear thin on Severus. The scent. His constant shifting movements. The sounds Remus was making - those little, stifled moans every so often-

“Quit that,” Severus snarled. 

“What?” Remus asked.

And just as Severus was about to explain exactly _what_ was wrong with those erotic, little sounds, Remus shifted once again. His thigh dragged across the outside of Severus’ leg, their chests realigned, and a foreign, warm weight pressed against Severus’ hipbone.

_Oh._

“ _What_ is that?” Severus hissed. 

“I’m sorry, it’s-”

“Are you-”

“It’s just-”

“Can you move-”

“I would if I could-”

“ _Enough_ ,” Severus interrupted their clashing conversation. “I don’t care how you got yourself into this situation-” _Lie_ “but don’t even think about rutting against me like some kind of wild animal.”

In his limited movement, Severus brought his hands to Remus’ hips and pushed back lightly in an attempt to put distance between them, but Remus made a sound of disapproval. “I wouldn’t do that, Severus,” he weakly protested. 

“Why?”

“You- ah, it’s your proximity that’s…” Remus trailed off, but Severus filled in the blanks. He didn’t pull his hands away. It was _him_?

Although the possibility of that had certainly flickered in the back of his mind, Severus wasn’t foolish enough to indulge in the belief and see it as the truth. But that was what it was, according to Remus himself. Severus would be lying if he said the thought of that didn’t please him. He felt the buzz of arousal low in his torso, manifesting itself as a faint pulse, like a misplaced heartbeat. 

And now he had Remus in front of him, the object of his recent desires, hard and _wanting_. Severus’ blood rushed south with every passing second, and it was harder to hold himself back while he tried to decide whether this was a good idea or not. 

The only light in the room was coming in through the crack along the bottom of the door, a weak moonlight that barely illuminated the closet. Although Severus could barely see the man in front of him in this light, he could picture how his cheeks would be flushed, how his eyes would be squeezed shut and his lip bitten with the effort to hold himself back from acting on desire alone. At that moment, Severus decided. 

“I take it back,” Severus groaned. He sunk his fingers into Remus’ hips and pulled him in impossibly close. The movement aligned his dick with Remus’, and although they were fully clothed, the sensation was still erotic in its own way. He rolled his hips into Remus’, who let out a groan and connected his lips to the junction between Severus’ jaw and neck. “Lupin-”

“It’s- fuck- it’s Remus. Call me by my first name, Severus,” Remus asked, breathing staggered and sharp against the side of Severus’ neck. He brought a large hand down to cup the bulge growing at the front of Severus’ trousers. 

“Why- why would I do such a thing?” Severus shot back, pressing forward into Remus’ hand. He moved his hand slowly up the outline of Severus’ cock and his hands paused at the line of buttons on the front of his trousers. 

“Say it,” Remus demanded. Severus fought back a groan at the confusing demand.

“What?”

“Say my name,” he repeated.

“This is ridiculous,” Severus sneered, voice faltering slightly as Remus returned his hand to his dick. The pressure was light, _too_ light and Severus needed more. He reached out to pull Remus in close by the belt loops on his pants, but Remus swatted his hand away. 

“This is long overdue. Use my first name,” Remus insisted. 

“You’re being idiotic,” Severus argued.

Remus ghosted his hand over Severus’ clothed cock, featherlight and purposefully minimal. Bastard. “We can just continue like this until someone finds us if you don’t want to listen to me.”

“You conniving little-”

“What was that?” Remus cut him off before he could say something he would regret.

“Remus,” Severus muttered, the name barely left his lips.

“Speak up.”

“Remus,” Severus repeated, a little louder. “Are you finally sated?”

“I think so,” Remus said smugly. His hands instantly returned to Severus’ buttons and he worked on undoing them. Severus’ heartbeat thumped in his ears, he tried to keep his breathing steady as Remus kissed his way up his neck. 

A moment later, Remus took Severus in his hand and Severus’ head rolled back. The callous on the palm of Remus’ hand felt heavenly as he slowly stroked his dick. It had been far too long since Severus had let anyone do this to him. Remus’ grip tightened and a moan fell from Severus’ mouth before he could stop it; Remus chuckled low by his ear at the sound. 

Through his haze of arousal, Severus reached forward to unbutton Remus’ pants, and this time his hand wasn’t swatted away to prove a point. Remus sighed as Severus wrapped his hand around Remus’ length. He was hot and heavy in his hand, and Severus swiped away the bead of precum that had pooled at the tip. 

“Fuck,” Remus growled and pushed up against Severus. He all but attacked his mouth, biting his lip and kissing with _need_. Severus adjusted his grip, as did Remus, so his hand fit around both of their cocks. 

Remus pushed his hand away. “I’ll do it,” he said, breaking away from Severus’ mouth. Severus conceded and relished in the sensation of the slide of Remus’ cock and hand against his own aching dick. He couldn’t help the way his hips bucked in time with Remus, chasing even more pleasure. Remus’ next question caught Severus off guard.

“How long have you been thinking about this for?”

“What?” was all Severus managed to say before he moaned again. Remus’s thumb circled the tip of Severus’ cock, the movement coaxed another lewd sound from his throat. 

Remus scoffed lightly, the sound wasn’t malicious, rather an expression of disbelief. “All those little occurrences that have happened since the start of the year, you didn’t play a part in setting them up?” He asked.

“Why would you think that- _fuck_ ,” Severus moaned as Remus’ wrist fell into a particularly pleasurable pattern. He sped up, and his thumb caught the bead of precum that drooled from the tip of Severus’ dick. 

“Because it was all rather convenient, and I wouldn’t put it past you to humiliate me,” Remus’ voice shook as he spoke, and his movements were growing more and more frantic. 

“Are you forgetting that I was being humiliated in the process? Why- why would I do that to myself?” Severus shot back.

“Okay, you're right,” Remus agreed and punctured his words with another rut of his hips against Severus’. 

“ _Fuck_ , do that again,” Severus moaned, head dropping forward to rest on Remus’ shoulder. Remus responded by thrusting his hips forward again and repeating the movement over and over. The drag of Severus’ cock against Remus’ and the surrounding fabric was getting to be too much to bear. He could feel his release building, and there wasn’t much he could do to stop it.

“Remus-” There’s that blasted first name again, “I’m close, I-”

Remus shushed him and picked up his pace. Severus met every movement, rolling his own hips and relishing in the feeling of Remus’ hard cock straining against his. He was only one harsh thrust away from falling over the edge, and Remus wasn’t relenting despite his previous warning. 

“Fuck, I’m- _ah_ ,” Severus tried to warn Remus one final time, but he fell short of finishing his sentence. He came hard, spilling against Remus’ cock and onto his own robes. His head lolled to the side as he panted, riding out the rest of his orgasm. Remus returned to the side of Severus’ throat and bit into the skin there as he reached his own climax. The hot liquid painted Severus’ dick and likely other areas of his trousers and robes.

As they both calmed down, Remus pressed one final kiss to Severus’ mouth. 

“And how long have _you_ been waiting to do that?” Severus finally returned the question. 

Remus chuckled, “Quite some time now.”

“And only three months ago did I balk-”

“Wait, be quiet,” Remus interrupted. He pressed a clean thumb over Severus’ lips, physically stopping him from talking. They waited in silence a moment longer before Remus whispered, “Footsteps.”

Severus’ stomach dropped. With a wave of his hand and a whispered, “Evanesco,” their cum vanished and they both did up their pants. A moment later, a greasy man unlocked the closet and swung the door open.

“Gentlemen,” Filch’s voice rasped over the first syllable. “Got a bit lost?”

“Stuck, more like it,” Remus corrected, and Severus watched as he tried to limit how much his chest was heaving. 

“Peeves told me as much, he found me on the Seventh Floor and said that ‘a surprise’ was waiting for me in this closet,” Filch said. His eyes traipsed over both of their rumpled clothes and halted on a spot on Severus’ neck. No doubt it was a blasted bite mark. “You’re both lucky you aren’t students anymore, I’d have you strung up for this.”

Neither of them came up with a retort. It was exactly what it looked like this time.

“Sorry about your closet,” Remus offered. “Promise it won’t happen again.” He offered the man a calm smile, and Filch screwed his face up at it.

“Of course, gentlemen. I won’t hold you two up any longer.” Filch waved them away and set off in the opposite direction. 

Severus was mortified. At least Argus wasn’t a gossip, there would be no wandering eyes or sly remarks from the rest of the staff at Breakfast tomorrow.

Once Filch was out of sight, Remus turned to face Severus. “Well, that was nice,” he said rather awkwardly, “save for the interruption at the end there.”

“Let’s not speak of this again,” Severus demanded as he smoothed his robes over one final time.

After some hesitation, Remus complied. “Agreed.”

But that only lasted until the next time they found themselves alone together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading! Leave a comment or a kudos if you enjoyed <3

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Leave a kudos or a comment if you enjoyed <3


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